Lord of the Craziness
by FreakingAmazing
Summary: 'Part' of the Fellowship gets transported to Hogwarts through a big hole in the ground. Dumbledore is forced to help them, Hermione becomes in love with Frodo...will she ditch Ron? Will they get back to Middle Earth to detroy the Ring? Read to find out!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

One awesome day, Harry and Ron were taking a stroll through the

forest. Ron was wearing green stripped pants and Harry had on jeans.

Hermione was running behind them huffing and puffing.

"Hermione! We told you to stay inside the castle!" Ron shouted at her.

"But I wanted to come see what you two were doing!" she answered.

"Ron just let her come," Harry pleaded.

"Fine."

So all three of them walked on into the forest. Soon they heard a

rustling sound from the bushes.

"What was that?" Hermione screamed.

"Probably just a rabbit," Harry assured her.

"A big rabbit," Ron said. Hermione glared at him. Then the bushes

rustled again and out walked a tall man with a long, gray beard and

pointy hat. He was holding a staff and was wearing a robe.

"Who the heck are you?" Ron asked.

"Ron! Remember 'Stranger Danger'!" Hermione said in a loud whisper,

"You stupid bastard!"

"Oh right sorry."

"Hey," the guy in the robe said, "I is no stranger."

"Are you Dumbledore's brother?" Harry asked fascinated.

"What the crumpet is a 'Dumbledore'? My name is Gandalf. G-A-N-D-A-

uh... What's after A?"

Then a short guy who looked almost like a child jumped out of the

bushes and yelled, "L! L! It's L!"

"Oh that's right! Thank you Sam! Then F! That's my name, now don't try

to wear it out. Okay?"

All Harry, Ron, and Hermione could do was stare.

"Oh! This is Samwise Gamgee," Gandalf explained, "Yo, Frodo, Merry,

Pippin. Come out here! Its, like safe." After he said that, three four-

foot people that looked sort of like Sam came out of the bushes.

"Why are you running around with a bunch of children?" Ron asked.

"Dude, we're not children," Merry exclaimed, "We're hobbits!"

"Duh!" said Pippin.

"Um, what are hobbits? Because I'm like super smart and I've never

heard of 'hobbits'" Hermione asked.

"Then your not awesome because hobbits are awesome," Frodo stated.

"Whatever."

"So what are you people, we've told you everything about us," Gandalf

informed.

"We're wizards."

"Pahahahahahahaha! Wizards? Really? Get out! Your not wizards!"

"Yes we are!"

"Nu uh! You don't have beards, and only wizards have beards!"

Harry, Ron, and Hermione put on a "WTF" face.

As they were discussing wizards and how they look, Dumbledore came

walking toward them. Thank God!

Gandalf looked up at him and said, "Dude, who's the guy in the dress?"

"Excuse me but have you seen what your wearing?" Dumbledore shot back.

"It's a 'robe'. Not a dress."

"Ahahahahaha! Whatever you say."

Gandalf frowned. "So who are you?"

"This is Dumbledore!" Harry yelled.

"Harry, bro, I can say my own name," Dumbledore scolded.

"Sorry sir."

"Ah so this is what a 'dumbledore'' looks like. Not very impressive."

"Ugh, have you seen yourself lately? And what are you doing at my

school?"

"We were on a journey but got a bit lost on the way, and fell into a

big hole. And got separated from four of our company companions,"

Frodo said.

"Frodo, dude, you don't have to say 'Company Companions'," Pippin

corrected.

"Dude, I don't care!"

"How about you all come on inside and tell us all about it."

Dumbledore led Gandalf, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin to the castle.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Once they were all behind the castle doors, Dumbledore led them into

the Gryffindor Common Room. There they discussed why they were there.

"So, how did you guys get here?" Dumbledore questioned.

"Well we are originally in Middle Earth doing some business, and then

we fell into a big hole that led us to here. Four of us were left

behind. Two men, an elf, and a dwarf," Gandalf explained.

"Okay, so how are you going to get back? And what was the business?"

Harry asked.

"Uh, we don't know! That's what we need to find out! And the business,

that's classified." Sam exclaimed.

"Yeah, totally classified. We'll tell you later though," Frodo winked.

"So can you like help us?" Merry asked as kindly as he could.

"Sure. Afterwards could we visit your places?" Hermione asked dreaming

about far away places and learning.

"Yeah, sure. But first we got to get there," Pippin said.

"Yay! We're going home!" Frodo squealed clapping his hands. Everyone

stared at him.

"What?" Frodo questioned, "I'm just excited to go home that's all!"

Dumbledore led them to some extra rooms in the back of the castle.

(They were really the basement, but they didn't have anymore rooms.)

"Goodnight to all, and to all a good night!" Dumbledore giggled and

frolicked out the door.

"Whoa, either I'm super tired or that guys not right," Sam said quietly.

"They're all pretty queer. I mean wizards without beards? Get real! The

only real wizards have beards! And whoever heard of a girl wizard?"

Gandalf kept muttering to himself about the sp called 'wizards'.

"I don't like that red haired one," Sam said.

"I do. He wears stripped pants!" Frodo exclaimed as they fell asleep.

Ron, Harry, and Hermione were in the Common Room talking about the day

and how weird it had been.

"They're all a bit strange don't you think? Especially that Gandalf

guy," Ron said.

"He reminds me of a cheerleader," Harry announced.

"What's a cheerleader?" asked Ron stupidly.

"Dude! Do you not know anything from the Muggle world? Look it up!"

Ron frowned.

"I like that Frodo guy. He's pretty cute," Hermione said dreamily.

Harry and Ron stared at her.

"What?" she questioned. They just shaked they're heads.

"A wizard and a hobbit. Wonderful couple." Ron snickered.

"Yeah, you and him could have 'Hizards' or 'Wobbits'!" Harry laughed.

"LOL!"

"Dudes, cut it out!" Hermione gave them the evil eye and they stopped.

"Rise and shine! It's a lovely day!" the voice of Dumbledore rang out

from the basement's doorway.

"Dang he's fruity," Merry yawned to Pippin.

"True dat!"

As everyone was waking and getting ready for another day, Hermione

walked in.

Everyone just stared for a second then went back to their own business.

"Heeeeyy!" Hermione said sitting next to Frodo. "Whatchu doing?"

Frodo looked a bit confused and said, "Um nothin' much, but I think

Gandalf wants to talk to you. So bye." He got up and walked away with

Hermione trailing behind him.

"Okay, dude. What's your problem. Huh?" Frodo demanded.

"Oh I don't know...might be I LOVE YOU!" Then she covered her

mouth. Frodo just sighed.

"Who doesn't."

"Uh oh Sam! Looks like you've got some competition for Frodo!" Pippin

shouted to Sam, laughing.

"Shut up!"

Merry giggled and said to Pippin, "Looks like Frodo has finally got a

'lady friend'!"

"At last!" Pippin agreed.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It was breakfast time in the Great Hall and the four hobbits and

Gandalf were led by Hermione (of course), Harry, and Ron and sat at

the Gryffindor table. They got plenty stares from all the houses,

including the professors.

Harry told them to sit next to them and wait until Dumbledore said so

for them to eat.

"But why can't we eat now?" Pippin wined.

"Because you can't shrimpy!" Ron bellowed. Pippin laughed at the comment.

"Ron, shrimpy? Seriously? That's the worst name ever!" Harry criticized

looking at Ron in a weird way.

"So Frodo, what's your favorite food?" Hermione asked looking into

Frodo's eyes in a dramatic way.

"Um I'm not sure..."

"Shrimp?" Ron asked smiling, "Sorry, I just had to say that!"

"So what are you guys anyway," a girl named Luna Lovegood asked.

"We're hobbits!"

Luna looked at them with awe.

"Hobbits. I think I've heard about them before, live in Middle Earth

don't they? But where have I heard of them?" While Luna was figuring

this out, others from the Gryffindor table started questioning them.

"Where did you all come from?"

"How did you get here?"

Draco Malfoy walked over from the Slytherin table and said, "Yeah, and

when are you all leaving?" Crabbe and Goyle laughed stupidly like fat

pigs.

"We're leaving as soon as Dumbledore figures how to send us back," Sam

said with a scowl.

"Ah, old Dumbledore's' gotta help ya huh?"

"Foshizzle homie," Merry answered.

"Yeah, well this is my posse. Crabbe and Goyle, but they're not really

that important."

"Okay. Nice meeting you, I guess,"

"Right, well Dumbledore is about to speak so tootles! Have fun at

Hogwarts!" Draco and his posse walked back to they're table giggling

like little girls.

Frodo was confused of all that was happening and different questions

went through his mind like; Would they ever get back? How long will it

take? And Where was the restroom? He thought of how those questions

needed to be answered as Dumbledore got up, (finally) and put out his

hands to hush everyone. After everyone had he started speaking.

"Good morning students, and welcome to another glorious day at

Hogwarts. Breakfast should be very yummy this morning," when he said

that a lot of people went 'Yeessss!'.

"I can see you all have noticed some new comers. They are lost and

have been separated from they're company companions..."

"Ooh owned!" Frodo stood up and yelled in Pippin's face. Everyone

stared and Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, but continued talking.

"Anyway, could they please stand up for everyone to see please?" All

five stood up. "As you can see one is wizard, but a different wizard.

And fruity," that last sentence he said to himself, "So any of you

could ask him any question. I'm sure he will love it!

"Oh, and one more thing. Please do not make fun of the hobbits height.

I mean, yeah they're short and it's kind of funny, but you know, they

dont like being made fun of! Alright everyone! Enjoy your breakfast!"

Someone in the audience yelled, "finally!" and Dumbledore scowled.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4 **_

_**After breakfast "The Five" (that's what some people called them), **_

_**Hermione, Harry, and Ron, all left the Great Hall and went to Hagrid's. **_

_**Harry knocked on the Door and hollered, "Hagrid! Yo it's us and The **_

_**Five! Open up!" **_

_**They heard loud, heavy footsteps running towards the door. Then it **_

_**swung open and in the doorway was a huge hairy man, who was apparently **_

_**Hagrid. **_

_**"Hallo! Good ta see ya Harry! And of course Hermione and Ron, how are **_

_**ye?" Hagrid greeted heartily. **_

_**"Fine and dandy!" Harry replied. **_

_**"Great! Say, I don't think I've met ye folks yet. Come on inside and **_

_**we'll talk." Hagrid motioned to 'The Five' and they walked in. When **_

_**the four hobbits walked next to Hagrid they looked like frickin' **_

_**ants! For real! They were short! **_

_**Hagrid's house was WAY too small for all nine of them, including **_

_**colossal Hagrid, to fit in there. So they all went to the bank of the **_

_**lake. **_

_**When they were all settled, Hagrid just sat there and smiled. **_

_**"What?" Gandalf asked in a kind of annoyed tone. **_

_**"Oh nothing. It's jest that I've never seen anything like you guys **_

_**before. Well except you. Gandalf is it? Hmm, yer a wizard too huh? Ye **_

_**look sorta like Dumbledore. But between you and me, your beard is a **_

_**whole lot cleaner than his," then Hagrid winked and Gandalf gave a **_

_**nervous laugh. **_

_**"Thank you, I guess..." **_

_**"Anyway, this is Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Frodo!" Hermione sighed and **_

_**batted her eyelashes at Frodo, who sighed and put his head in his hands. **_

_**"Well, howdy! Nice ta meet all of ya!" Hagrid said delighted, "Why are **_

_**ye here anyway?" **_

_**"Gosh, dude! How many times do we have to tell you people?" Merry **_

_**announced. **_

_**"Look dude, we were traveling. Got lost. And now we're here. Got it?" **_

_**Pippin said flatly. **_

_**"Oh yeah, I got it. Why were ye traveling?" Frodo shifted in his seat **_

_**and looked at the floor. **_

_**"Come on! You can tell ole Hagrid anything!" **_

_**"Okay. So like I was given this ring by Gandalf which is supposingly **_

_**very powerful. And if I, like don't get it destroyed, then, like our **_

_**whole entire world will be, like eradicated!" Frodo explained quickly. **_

_**"Nice words bro," Merry said slapping him on the back and wiping his **_

_**eyes. **_

_**"So that's what it is!" Ron announced out loud. **_

_**"Huh! So that was what you were trying to hide?" Hermione asked. **_

_**"Pretty much," Gandalf said. **_

_**"Cool! Can I see the ring?" Hermione asked holding out her hand. Frodo **_

_**got this fierce look in his eyes and shook his head franticly. **_

_**"No no! You can't hold it, touch it, or see it! You weren't even **_

_**supposed to know about it!" **_

_**"Okay, okay, okay! We won't! Now who's ready for some tea?" Hagrid **_

_**offered. **_

_**"Tea?" Merry and Pippin questioned in unison, "Heck yeah!" **_

_**"Alright then! It's tea time!" Hagrid rubbed his hands and went into **_

_**his hut, "Now don't ye move now. I'll be back!" **_

_**Hagrid left to het some tea. **_

_**"Ooooookaaaaaay, so what we supposed to do while he's getting our **_

_**tea?" Gandalf asked dully. **_

_**"IDK you figure out something," Ron spat at him. **_

_**"Pfft. How about we ay some Truth or Dare?" The hobbits raised they're **_

_**eyebrows. **_

_**"No! No Truth or Dare!" They shouted. **_

_**"I was only joking." **_

_**That's when Hagrid came back with a tray full of tea. **_

_**"Hey! What's shakin'? I brought the tea." Merry and Pippin ran up to **_

_**him and grabbed their's and started sipping them madly. **_

_**"Aaah! What? We were thirsty! Don't question our thirstiness!" **_

_**"Dumbledore! Hooray!" Harry yelled for Dumbledore had just walked up. **_

_**"Why hello, I think i've figured out how to get you people back to **_

_**where you came from," **_

_**"You did? Yay!" Frodo shouted jumping up and down clapping his hands. **_

_**Ron whispered to Hermione, "That's the guy you like? Very attractive." **_

_**"Oh shut up!"**_


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Back in Dumbledore's office.

"So you can really take us back?" asked Sam.

"Sure can, unless you want to stay here."

"Oh no, no, no, no, no! We want to leave please!"

"Alrighty, but you people promised to let us come along. So here we go!

We need to take these people home,

But do not take us into Rome!" Whoosh! They traveled back to Middle

Earth.

Back in Middle Earth.

"Aaaah!" They all screamed as they landed into a big tree.

"This reminds me of my third year," Harry amused.

"Amen brother!" Ron agreed.

When they were all safe and sound out of the tree Dumbledore, Harry,

Ron, and Hermione looked around in awe.

"Ah dang it! Look where we are! The Shire!" Frodo exclaimed.

"Yeah, so what?" Gandalf asked.

"Dude, we were at the entrance of the Mines of Moria. That means we

have a long way to go!"

"Ooh right. Not good."

"Could you at least show us around before you go, please?" Hermione

asked with a puppy dog face.

"Oh okay!" Gandalf agreed.

At the Bag End.

"This is your house?" Ron asked.

"Fo rizzle dizzle dawg!" Frodo said.

"Nice, but the ceilings kind of low."

"Well naw!"

"Oh right!"

Frodo have them a tour of his house.

"Okay since Frodo is kind of fruity and girlish, I guess I could pick

Sam," Hermione whispered to Ron.

"Whatever you say."

Hermione snuggled up to Sam's side and said, "So how's it going?"

"Sorry! But I've already have a girl in mind."

"Oooh rejected by a Hobbit! Ouch!" Harry and Ron laughed at her.

Hermione's face got redder then Santa's nose.

"Heeheehee, your face is as red as Santa's nose! Haha!" Harry shouted

at her.

"Please, please, pleeeaaase! Sam! I love you!" Hermione pleaded to Sam.

"Sorry but she's way awesomer, and prettier!" Sam added, "Why don't

you go for Frodo? He's not taken yet."

"But I thought he was gay?"

"What? No. Frodo's not gay, he's just...special! That all."

"So you really think I should ask him out?"

"Sure! But if you plan on having kids, that just may not work. Just

saying" Sam winked.

After Frodo gave them a brief tour of Bag End. They went outside and

sat on the porch. I don't know why since they needed to get moving,

but you know, they did what they did.

Frodo sat down in a rocking chair and Hermione walked over to him.

When she got to where he was she looked back at Sam, who gave her a

thumbs up and a smile.

Hermione gave a deep breath and said, "Frodo. Will you go out with

me?" Then she gave him the puppy dog face.

Frodo looked at Sam who smiled. Frodo shot him a death glare.

"Sooo will ya?"

"Um...Hermione listen. I don't like you. I like you as a friend but

not like, 'like you like you'"

"Oh. So now we can't have 'Wobbits' and 'Hizards'"

"Huh?"

"Nothing!" Hermione said quickly.

"Have you ever thought of anyone else you would like that's kind of

your height?" Frodo asked looking her up and down.

"Well, I haven't really thought of it. But I guess I sort of like Ron

a bit. I guess..." she trailed off.

"So you like Ron? Is that what your trying to say?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"There is no 'Yeah, I guess'. Do you like him or not? Can I get an

amen?"

Hermione paused then shouted, "Amen!" which had everyone looking at her.

"Now go get yourself up and get yourself a man, girl!" Hermione

stomped off toward Ron who was sitting next to Harry and Merry, who

were 'talking'.

"...So anyway, bumblebees do not sting," Harry said, apparently in an

argument with Merry.

"Dude, no they DO sting, duh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"Nu uh!"

"Yes huh!"

"No huh!"

Hermione cut in, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! I need to speak to Ron privately

please!"

Harry and Merry shrugged they're shoulders, "Okay." they walked away

bickering about bumblebees.

"So, Hermione. What do you want to tell me?"

"Its something I want to ask, and have been wanting to for a very long

time!"

"Okay, shoot."

"Well, I was talking to Frodo and..." Ron cut her off.

"There's something I need to say first. Hermione Granger, will you go

out with me?" Hermione heard an applause and 'aww' in her head. And a

hallelujah!

"Yes, yes, yes!" then she hugged him and Frodo announced,"'aww'!"

which got him some queer looks.

"So what did you want to ask me?" Ron said as he put her down.

"Well, um. I was going to ask you out." she smiled and he kissed her.

"Oooh! Get it girl!" Pippin whistled and shouted.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Ron and Hermione were hand in hand the rest of the day. Sam had fallen

asleep and Gandalf was reading a book called, 'Your Inner Beard.'

"Sooo," Harry said to Gandalf, "Don't you guys have to get going?" At

that Gandalf jumped up grabbed his hat, and threw the book into the

fire.

"OMG! We do! Thanks a bunch Harry! Yo! Sam wake up you lazy pig!"

Gandalf said as he pushed Sam out of the chair he was sleeping in.

Sam fell out of his chair and stood up, "What! I was dreaming about

Bill and how we had to let him go RIGHT before we fell into that hole!

If only we had kept him," he sighed, "We could've all taken turns

riding on him." then he started crying.

"Oh hush up you big fat baby!" Merry slapped Sam on the cheek, which

turned red. Then he punched Merry in the nose, which started bleeding.

"Okay, ow? That like hurt!"

"Guys stop fighting we need to get back to Hogwarts!" Ron yelled then

stared into Hermione's eyes, still hand in hand with her.

"Right!" Dumbledore agreed, "Okay lemme think. Everybody hold hands.

Not The Five! Alright, here goes nothing!

What was done, now undo, return us to where we were, Aduie!" Then they

all zoomed back to Hogwarts as fast as Jimmy John's delivery.

Back at Hogwarts.

"Ugh. I never want to do that again," Hermione stated.

"You said it!" was Frodo's voice. Dumbledore, Harry, Hermione, and Ron

all looked down at Frodo, who was right next to them.

"Um, Frodo, what are you doing here?"

"I don't know. Hey Sam what's going on...wait, we're not suppossed to

be here are we," They shook they're heads no.

"O gosh! Now it started all over again!" Merry exclaimed sitting down

in the grass with Pippin beside him.

"Well, there's only one good thing about this," Gandalf said.

"What's that?"

"Free food."

THE END

I know that last one was REALLY short! Well I hope you liked it, whoever read J


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